So, Shoot Me

September/October 2007 Issue: Page 120

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I'm a hired gun. I made a mistake. Now take your best shot.

The Spider is worn out. Too much travel. New York, Boston, Miami, Seattle, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Jose – all in the last couple of months. And there isn't any letup in sight. This fall, I'll be lurking around San Francisco, London, New York and Las Vegas for events and meetings.

One place I will not be in is Santa Barbara for CJU. And no, it's not because I'm still wiping the egg off my face from my last column. It's actually due to a scheduling conflict. Really. It's a personal/family commitment that I can't get out of and a joyous occasion that I don't want to miss.

But let's get back to that glaring mistake I made in the July/ August issue regarding Commission Junction. Okay, so there was no general manager announcement from CJ. I screwed up. I took tips from several CJ workers that all corroborated the same story, which turned out to be incorrect. I'm not sure if I was being used (the nerve) or just being naive (the nausea).

Whatever the case may be, I want to apologize for leading you, dear reader, down the wrong path. I also wanted to congratulate CJ new top guns – Dave Osman, vice president, client development – West, and Kerri Pollard, vice president; client development – East.

No need to rehash everything. I have already been chided privately and publicly by my editor, Lisa Picarille, who took me to task in her blog.

It's one thing to be under fire from others; it's quite another to shoot yourself. ReveNews.com co-founder and spyw a re /m a l w a re /s e - curity god Wayne Porter accidentally shot himself in the (wait, it hurts like hell to even say it) groin. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

It seems that Porter, whose life has been repeatedly threatened by international hackers and spyware promoters, often carries a .44 Magnum. The would-be Dirty Harry of the affiliate world was taking some informal backyard target practice with his brother in West Virginia and the bullet from one of his own shots fractured and then ricocheted, hitting Porter in a delicate spot. Luckily, the injury wasn't too serious (it just hurt like hell, according to Porter). However, if the bullet would have hit him just an inch or two higher, he might have been killed. Thank goodness he survived and now has yet another tale of intrigue to share. I will avoid the obvious balls-of-steel jokes, as I know Porter has heard them all since the incident.

So if you're looking for another man with a closet full of tales to tell, it's Patrick Byrne of Overstock. com. Even when there's a smoking gun, Byrne is not at all fazed by it. In the last month, Byrne has vehemently denied that he posts anonymously on Internet message boards; he's been outed as posting under the name "Hannibal" during Overstock's quarterly conference call on July 31; he finally (after a year of questioning) acknowledged that he is a target of an SEC investigation and that the probe concerns his "irregular" actions; and he was granted a waiver by the Overstock board to make a $1.2 million loan to Senior Vice President, Branding and Customer Care of the company, Stormy Simon. Thank you, Mr. Byrne. If only all CEOs were as colorful as you. You never fail to make me smile.

And if you'd like to make me grin ear to ear, then shoot over some news or maybe some top-secret information or just a juicy helping of gossip. If you do, I'll fire back with a Revenue T-shirt for your tidbit. You can email me at thespider@RevenueToday.com or call the hotline directly at 415-732-7456.

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