I’m totally scattered after a whirlwind month and there’s no rest in site. Here’s what’s happened over the several weeks and the important lessons taken from each event.

I had an emergency appendectomy.
*Hospitals are unlikely to send you home with your removed appendix, even if you bring your own Mason jar. Thanks for asking Jim!

Set foot in the wicked pisser (albeit very humid) state of Massachusetts for an overdue visit with the family.
*They are called Massholes for a reason.
*I may miss Dunkin Donuts regular coffee, but that Coolatta concoction nearly made me wretch. Stick with previous beverage plans - coffee hot; tea cold.

Hit the Big Apple for the LinkShare Symposium.
*Steve Denton is a very funny man and has the action poses to prove it.
*Company presidents should never, ever use the word luhvah – under any circumstance.
*Missy Ward’s 5-year old has a site with Google ads on it.
*More people were talking about the opportunities with ring tones than about doing business in Japan.
*I must get pens (or at least one pen) when attending an event.
*When someone in a tuxedo seems cool because they like the Pogues or used to scalp tickets at Grateful Dead shows, ask about their current musical tastes, which may have taken a turn. Yes, I mean you Shawnia. Oops, sorry, you only like the big boys of country that date Hollywood stars – Kenny Chesney and Keith Urban. What happened to you?
*When you pay more than $400 a night for a hotel in a major metropolitan city you should get free high-speed Net access and a pool. Not negotiable.
*When New Yorkers find out that you live in California they wonder why you haven’t got a tan. It’s not California; it’s San Francisco, duh!
*The folks at Rakuten are very smart.
*When in doubt wear a tux. Everyone looks handsome.
*Three words: Cantone, Cantone, Cantone.

The July/August issue of Revenue shipped to the printer yesterday.
*It’s really hard to close an issue that is jam packed with such topical information – the teen market, back to school, etc. Every time I thought I was done, a new wrinkle or new announcement pulled me back in to add to a story.
*Doing a redesign of a magazine and a website at the same time not recommended. Baby steps. Baby steps.

Stories for the September/October issue are already due to me and they’re coming in fast and furious.
*Social networking is a huge opportunity for online marketers.
*No one is neutral when it comes to Net Neutrality.

Came back to many loose ends that need tying up.
*A big box of Affiliate Classroom’s box of Affiliate Manager Boot Camp DVDs is way cool, but catching up on my TiVo is cooler.
*Don’t take a one-day old laptop on the road for 10 days. IT guy back at the home office not amused by the blizzard of tech support calls or time zone differences.
*Jury duty people have heard every excuse known to man. Don’t even try.
*Expense reports sucks.
*Expense checks rock.

Prepping for Affiliate Summit in Orlando in less than two weeks.
*It’s nearly sold out. 1,000 people +105 degree heat = tons of sweaty affiliate fun.
*Thinking about scalping Summit ticket on eBay and heading for cooler climes.

Squeezed into all that - somewhere way in the back - were friends, family, laundry and bill paying. So much for lazy days at the beach. Let me know how your summer is going. lisap@revenuetoday.com